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The Holey Hiker Squirt Backpacking Bidet in Crystal Blue looks like it was carved from an Infinity Stone* which guarantees that your butt will feel marvelous after using it. Snap this bidet into your bottle and no longer will your chaffing butt drag you down during travels but instead that fresh feeling will get you quickly to your destination feeling refreshed and alert. This is not a bidet that everyone will appreciate. It's color does not provide instant gratification but instead grows on you like a good book or song that slowly grows on you until you can't get it out of your mind. This bidet has the power to become your favorite piece of backpacking equipment. At first you'll just use it for clean-up duties after pooping. Then maybe as a micro shower after a long day of hiking. And finally as legacy piece of gear that you will include in your will for your dear friend. We recommend buying two. One to use, and one to hang as a decoration to remind you of just how great using a bidet makes you feel. It doesn't just change your life in the backcountry, it makes you feel great everyday knowing that you left a little less waste and have a squeaky clean behind.
*Please note, Tesseract is sold separately.
Backpacking is the art of knowing what not to take.” – Sheridan Anderson.
Sheridan was talking about toilet paper.
Here is what one tester had to say:
"I sure felt a LOT cleaner during the day after using it all week. In fact this cleaner feeling made using the bidet a MUST for me. I thought about not using it midweek when my bidet water bottle needed a refill and I was too lazy to refill it until I had to go and realized there was no way I could skip it. After using it once, there was no going back." Jim
Here comes the product description. If you read this once, that is enough. If you have not clicked on the link to the strength test you should. I spent like 5 minutes making that work of art.
This Holey Hiker "Squirt" Ultralight Backpacking Bidet is made from "ABS-like resin" which can take more pounding than an average backpacker would ever dish out. Click here to see one of our many strength tests. This is the strongest of the Holey Hiker Bidets and the one you want to face the apocalypse with. If you are a prepper, this belongs next to your dog in the back of your truck as you flee the city for your cabin hidden in the woods. Please note that the bidet does not come with a painted arrow. A Sharpie will last multiple trips, but your favorite nail polish will last a long, long time. The Squirt weighs 7g or .24 oz. Price includes shipping and handling.
Until you get the hang of it, wet the o-rings before placing into your bottle.
International customers please click here for ordering instructions!
If you have any questions please email Paul at email@example.com
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Holey Hiker Backpacking Bidets are lovingly designed and 3D printed in the USA in a tiny little room in my house. It is made from "ABS-like resin" which can take more pounding than an average backpacker would ever dish out. Click here to see one of our many strength tests. The O-rings are FDA grade seals. These are more commonly called “food grade seals” which resist the build-up of bacteria. They are not regular "hardware store" o-rings. I tried those...they will quickly degrade and crack :) Each bidet weighs approximately 7g. Because they are made from resin, you cannot leave them in sunlight for prolonged periods of time. So you can't hang it from your rear view mirror, store it outside on your deck, or hang it outside your backpack on your year long thru hike :) That said, after leaving some out for 5 straight sunny days this summer we did not notice any additional weakness in our "rock meets bidet" testing. Please keep in mind that these are not pressed by the 1000's in a factory. I make them at my house which means each bidet is unique and might have a small quirk, a small indent, a little spot where I sanded down a rough patch, which does not take away from the beauty of the four hole spray.
Hello and welcome to Holey Hiker Bidets! I'm Paul Bogush the designer, creator, lead tester, and CEO (Chief Elimination Officer) of Holey Hiker Backpacking Bidets. After using a few other bidets I realized that not one had all the features I was looking for. None had the right combination of durability, ease of use, low water usage, and the perfect stream. I decided to start designing and testing my own in December 2020. Each time I went out I made a small change and then came home and fired up the 3D printer to make the improvements based on my experience and the experiences and feedback from testers all around the country. After one last outing on the Appalachian Trail in June of 2020, I had what I thought was the perfect backpacking bidet...but a tester had it eventually crack after long term testing. After another year of prototyping and experimenting with different plastics the final prototype was finally made in July of 2021 and sales to our waiting list and anyone who happen to stumble upon the website began. Our "grand opening" finally occurred on November 19, 2021.
We are the only seller of the Holey Hiker Backpacking Bidet. All other sites are selling imitations! Holey Hiker Bidets are designed and manufactured in a little corner of my house in Connecticut, USA.
And finally, if I haven't convinced you that a bidet is life changing, then listen to Evan!
"Just get one and thank me later. Honestly, I am amazed I have not heard more about bidets for backpacking. I used Paul's bidet for just over 3 weeks while on the Colorado trail and I have to tell you my butt has never been happier. In the past I have had monkey butt issues but using this little bidet and a little bit of washing with some Dr Bronner's, I did not have any butt chaffing issues at all. It's small light and has officially replaced wet wipes in my pack. I also cut my toilet paper usage to about 2 squares per day using this bidet. Paul has been working to perfect his product and I think he nailed it. This bidet is going to be in my pack forever, provided I don't lose it. (Seriously it's small). Once you hop on the bidet train there is no going back and you're going to say to yourself, 'I should have bought one of these sooner.' Trust me."
If your bidet malfunctions or gets destroyed by a bear, we will give you a full refund or a new bidet. If you just have bad aim that's on you! We package the bidets the weekend after receiving the order and get them in the mail the following Monday. You will be sent a confirmation email with the shipping # after it is packed. If we are out backpacking shipments will be delayed by one week...unless we get lost, but that rarely happens anymore!
Please keep in mind that you will receive no cutesy note or extra packing material to cut down on waste. You will get just a bidet in a little bag :)
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be patient with shipping. We can ship a bidet to California in 5 days one week, and then ship one the following week that will take a month. Around holiday time all bets are off :) Sometimes when the USPS takes our packages they scan them in immediately and other times the first scan is at your regional PO. If you do not receive a bidet within 4 weeks of ordering please contact us and we will ship out a new one. Ignore the 3-5 day shipping time that is stated in the automated email with your shipping #. That is just a very loose USPS goal. The average has been four days but there are so many exceptions. Many bidets will take 2 weeks or more. Once you get an email saying we have created the shipping label it is usually in the mail the NEXT day. Approximately 1-2% of all packages are lost by the USPS. That is out of our control and sending a new one after four weeks is the best we can do!